


sweet innocence

by VeryImportantDemon



Category: The Last of Us
Genre: Ellie is a good daughter, Family, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Father-Daughter Relationship, Fatherhood, Fluff, Gen, Holidays, Joel and Ellie bonding, Joel is a good dad, Riley (mentioned) - Freeform, So much Ellie and Joel bonding, holidays and fluff, this took a turn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-24
Updated: 2016-12-24
Packaged: 2018-09-11 18:38:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9001975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VeryImportantDemon/pseuds/VeryImportantDemon
Summary: "There is some kind of a sweet innocence in being human- in not having to be just happy or just sad- in the nature of being able to be both broken and whole, at the same time." -C. JoyBell C.Joel and Ellie share a holiday moment together. The air is still and for a moment, the world is sweet.





	

**Author's Note:**

> well here's this. It was supposed to be a Christmas fic but it ended up turning into some multi holiday mashup with like Riley and Sarah feels and all of the Joel and Elie family bonding. I couldn't get Joel and Ellie's voices out of my head. I hope I did them justice.

"We wish you a merry Christmas... We wish you a merry Christmas..." The older man's smooth singing voice tapered off as Joel coughed softly before nudging Ellie's shoulder with his own. "Come on, kiddo," he said. "I know you know more guitar than that. I taught you better, didn't I? Or is my singin' just that bad?"

Ellie laughed slightly, bumping him back and readjusting her fingers on the strings of the old guitar he'd given her what seemed like forever ago. "No, you're doing great, old man." She strummed out a few nice chords, the ones that went right along with the words he'd been singing. "I just don't get it," she confessed, thumping one hand down on the body of the guitar. It made a dull, hollow noise, one that didn't at all match the happy tune. "Why are we singin' about a holiday no one celebrates any more?"

Joel shrugged slightly. "Dunno, kiddo," he said. "Some reason I still remember the chords to it. Sarah loved Christmas, but I was never much for it." He tapered off, tilting his head slightly and focusing on something neither of them could see as he thought. He ducked his head to cough into his elbow before he spoke. "It's kinda like what you were talkin' about earlier. Weird shit like that makes us human, ya know?" Ellie hummed, plucking out a few more notes, her fingers flicking up and down the neck of the car.

"Tell me about Christmas," the teen pressed. Joel shook his head and laughed softly. "I already went and told you most everything I can remember," he told her. "Come on, Joel," she whined. "Tell me about Christmas! Tell me about the creepy old guy!"

Joel laughed, shifting his weight on the bed. The old mattress squeaked underneath him, dipping and moving to account for the change in position. "Fine, kid," he said, his hands on his knees for a moment before they went slack, resting on his thighs. "You drive a hard bargain." Ellie grinned happily. She leaned down, grabbing Joel's arm so she wouldn't fall off the bed as she gently set the guitar on the ground. She shifted her weight a bit more, crossing her legs and settling against the headboard of the bed to listen. "Now you can go," she assured him. "I'm ready." Joel rolled his eyes and laughed before he started speaking.

"Back before everythin' was shit," he began, "there was this guy everyone called Santa Claus. The Christians reckoned he was some saint of theirs who for some reason just kept on livin' even when everyone else had died. Everyone else just thought he was some... Benevolent spirit kinda thing." Joel turned his hands over, his rough and lined palms facing the ceiling as he spoke. He curled his fingers in and released them, working some kind of kink out of them while he swallowed back another cough. He leaned forward, his elbows on his knees for a moment, before he stretched and sat back against the headboard next to Ellie.

"He was a big white guy. Wore red all the time. Red coat, red pants, red hat. Red everythin'." Joel laughed softly. "Weird choice if ya ask me, but I'm not a mythical bein' either. On Christmas Eve night, he'd fly all the way 'round the world with his sleigh pulled by a bunch 'a deer. Those deer'd fly him anywhere he needed to go, and when he got to every house, he'd get out and drop down their chimney."

"But what if they don't have a chimney?" Ellie chimed in. Her elbows were on her knees and she was eagerly listening to Joel's story. The older man laughed softly. "Thought I was tellin' the story, kiddo," he said. "Can't exactly tell the story of you keep askin' questions."

"It's interactive!" Ellie protested. "Come on, Joel," she whined, punching his shoulder lightly, and the older man rolled his eyes. "Easy, kiddo," he said. "I'm gettin' there." He paused, tilting his head slightly, thoughtful. "I don't actually know what he did if they didn't have a chimney," he added with a shrug. "We had one. Sarah never asked. I guess he just went through the front door or somethin'."

Ellie smiled and leaned back against the headboard again, satisfied with his answer. "Okay," she said. "And what would he do when he got into the house like a creepy stalker?" Joel smiled at the comment. "I always thought it was weird, too." He coughed again before he continued, missing Ellie's concerned frown. "He'd give 'em presents. Whatever they'd asked for this year. Only if they were good, though."

Ellie squirmed on the bed again, the box springs squeaking as she shifted. She settled down right next to Joel, her hand on his chest. He smiled as she wiggled around, lifting up his arm and placing it around her shoulders. "Alright, alright, kiddo," he said with a laugh. He leaned down and kissed her on top of the head.

"And if they were bad," he pressed, "like some little girls I know..."

Ellie huffed indignantly. "I'm not little!" she said. "I'm fucking delightful!" Joel grinned again. "I know, kiddo. Wouldn't trade ya for anything. Like I was sayin', if the kid was bad, they wouldn't just get nothin'. They'd get coal."

"Coal?" Ellie repeated. "That's a little harsh, don'tcha think? And how does he decide who was good or bad?" Joel shrugged again. "That's another thing I don't know. But I do know my pa told me 'n Tommy to be meaner than shit every year so we'd get coal and he wouldn't hafta pay to put it on his grill."

Ellie laughed at that. "That seems like fun," she remarked. "So, what did you do for Christmas?" she pressed after a beat of pause. "You and your family 'n everythin'. You had one, didn't you?" Joel huffed softly and nodded. He opened his mouth to talk but frowned and stopped, turning his head the other way to cough. Ellie sat up, concerned. "You sure you're all good?" she questioned, an eyebrow raised. "Yeah," he said when he'd finally dropped long enough to catch a breath. "I'm good, baby girl. Just not as young as I used to be." He settled back against the headboard and Ellie cautiously resumed her position. "Now, where was I?" he asked.

"You we're gonna tell me what you and your family did for Christmas," she said. "It's a family thing, right? So what'd ya do?" Joel took a breath before he started. "Didn't have much family," he said. "By then, it was just me and Tommy and Sarah. Tommy'd come up on the 24th. 's Christmas Eve. We'd watch all of Sarah's favorite Christmas cartoons. She'd try every year to stay up to see Santa, but every year she'd fall asleep during the cartoons. Tommy and I'd set up the couch bed in the livin' room with the tree and we'd sleep in there with Sarah. Next mornin' she'd wake up and be sad she missed Santa, but then she'd remember I was makin' breakfast and she had presents to open."

Ellie smiled fondly at the memory that wasn't exactly hers. She could imagine it, though. She closed her eyes and there she was. She was sitting in a living room, something she'd constructed using her and Joel's house in Jackson. Only they had a huge tree in one corner of it. She'd wake up on the couch, curled up beside Joel. Then he'd make her something nice for breakfast and they'd open presents. She'd gotten presents before, sure, but she'd never really opened one before. Then she'd turn around and there was Riley beside her on the couch and she'd kiss her on the cheek. Joel would jokingly call to them from the kitchen, something about getting a room, but he'd laugh and make Riley breakfast, too. It was all weirdly perfect.

"That sounds really nice, Joel," Ellie said, and Joel smiled sadly. "It was mighty nice," he remarked. "I kinda miss it sometimes."

Ellie hummed softly, feeling Joel's heartbeat just under her ear. "We could have a Christmas this year," she suggested. "If you want. We can drag in some kinda tree from outside. And we can sit up late and tell stories and sing songs and shit. And you can make us breakfast in the morning."

Joel was silent for a long while after that and Ellie feared for a split second she'd pushed him too far. It was a stupid wish. She opened her mouth to try and take it back when Joel finally spoke. "Yeah," he said. He coughed into a closed fist before he elaborated. "That sounds like a great idea, baby girl." He kissed her on the top of the head again, and she smiled, content.

The silence didn't last for long before Ellie was peppering Joel with more questions. "Was there more?" she asked. "More holidays? There wasn't just Christmas, right?"

Joel hummed in agreement with her statement. "Of course," he said. "I don't know if I remember 'em all, but there was quite a few more. Not all of 'em were that special, though." He paused, thinking for a moment. "There's was New Years," he said finally. "First day of the year. Everyone celebrated being alive another year."

Ellie laughed out loud at that one. "Why don't we still celebrate that one?" she asked. "It makes sense now, celebratin' not bein' dead when there's a million and a half ways to die before noon. But why'd you wanna celebrate it when everything wasn't shit?"

Joel shrugged again. "Wish I knew, kiddo," he said. "We can have that one, too, if you like." Ellie let out another puff of air, readjusting herself to get more comfortable on top of Joel. He raised his arm and stopped talking while she got comfortable, lowering his arm back around her shoulders and messing absentmindedly with her hair.

"Yeah, I think I'd like that," she said. "Riley woulda liked that." Joel nodded, humming softly in agreement. "People used to do this thing on New Years where they got drunk and make toasts to people when it hit midnight. I normally wouldn't condone underage drinking..." Ellie snorted at that, but didn't move, so Joel smiled and kept talking. "But if I can scrounge something up maybe we'll do one. For Sarah. And your girl, Riley."

Ellie fell silent again, but it wasn't exactly an uncomfortable one. It fit the mood. "Did they only do toasts to dead people?" she asked eventually. "And what even are toasts?" Joel smiled faintly again, his fingers stilling in her hair. He tilted his head to the side to cough again, and Ellie frowned, her fingers curling in slightly and grasping Joel's shirt until his chest stilled and she relaxed.

"No, they don't hafta just be for dead people," he said, the gritty, post-cough tone his voice took on fading after a few words. "They can be for anyone. Someone you wanna honor. Toasts are..." He furrowed his brow, contemplating for a moment. "They're funny. You pour a glass of somethin' and then you say a buncha nice things and then you drink to 'em."

"Alright," Ellie said. "I think I get it. Can I toast to you, then?" She shifted her weight, removing his arm from her shoulders so she could sit up. "You're kinda the reason I'm still alive." Joel laughed, a low noise deep in his chest, and Ellie smiled at it and kept going. She fake cleared her throat and pretended to raise a glass. "To Joel," she said. "He was the greatest fucking guy I ever knew." Joel laughed again but Ellie plowed forward. "Seriously. You all laugh, but he was so fucking hardcore. You don't even know hardcore unless you've met Joel. He'll straight up cut a bitch's head off, no questions asked. And the best thing is he did it all for me."

Ellie pretended to take a drink from her imaginary glass before lowering it. "That was sweet, kid," Joel said with a grin. "I like it. Thanks."

"You're welcome," Ellie said, sitting criss-cross on the bed. She waited expectingly for a few seconds before saying, "C'mon, Joel! You gotta do one for me, now!" Joel smiled and sat up straighter against the bed. "Alright, alright," he said. He cleared his throat before he began.

"To Ellie," he began. "A real stand-up girl. She wasn't afraid to tell you what she thought. If she disagreed with you, she'd tell ya. To your face." Ellie nodded approvingly. "Good," she praised. "I like it so far." Joel rolled his eyes again. "Easy, kiddo," he said. "I'm the one toasting.

"She was the bravest girl I've ever met and a pretty damn good daughter," he finished. Ellie grinned again. "Thanks, Joel," she said. "You're a pretty fucking good Dad, too, ya know? I mean I know it's probably not easy being a parent when the world is a powder keg of shit that's going to explode any second, but you're doing a good job. " Joel nodded and smiled. "Any time, kiddo," he said.

Ellie changed positions again, always moving. She punctuated this shift with another statement. "We should do toasts for them," she supplied, and Joel paused for a moment. "For Sarah and Riley," she finished, even though Joel already had a pretty good idea who she was talking about. "Alright, kid," he said. "Let's do it."

Ellie cleared her throat again, gosling up her imaginary glass once more. "To Riley," she began. Her voice cracked slightly and she shook her head, restarting. "To Riley," she repeated. "You were my best friend. My best fucking friend. My only friend, really. You put me on a carousel. You got me a book of puns. You almost got shot to bring back a couple of water guns just because I said I'd always wanted one." She paused to smiled sadly. "You plugged my Walkman into a speaker and we danced. You gave me the world. Riley... I'm so fucking glad we got to have the time we did. So, so fucking glad. It wasn't a lot, but we got it together, so it was. There was no one I would've rather lost my mind with." She swallowed around the lump in her throat, lowering her arm. "To Riley."

Joel dipped his head and for a few moments, they were both silent. "To Riley," he said softly. "To Riley," Ellie echoed again, and the quiet settled over them once more. After a good chunk of silence, suitable for honoring her friend, Ellie spoke up. "Now you go," she said, nudging Joel with her knees. "You gotta do one. For Sarah."

Joel heaved a sigh. He moved to speak but stopped, bending his head as his shoulders were racked with shakes, the force of his coughing. Ellie scrambled across the bed again, settling beside him before unceremoniously thumping him on the back. When he finally stopped, he stayed hunched over for a few minutes. When he finally sat up, a concerned Ellie was waiting for him. "You sure you're alright?" she asked nervously. "Hackin' up a lung there, Joel."

Joel swallowed, nodding. "Yeah, yeah," he dismissed with a wave of his hand. "I'm alright, kiddo. I told you, I'm fine." Ellie huffed and crossed her arms. "Are you sure?" she asked. "Cause it kinda sounded like you were fucking dying for a second there." Joel shook his head again. "I'm fine, kid," he told her. "I promise. I ain't goin' out that easily."

Satisfied with his answer, Ellie sat back across the bed from him, her legs crossed at the foot. "Budge up," she said, smacking his feet, and with a weak smile, he pulled them back.

"To Sarah," Joel began finally, not bothering with the fake glass, allowing Ellie to hold it up for him. "I only knew you for 8 years, but... I loved you so much, darlin'. You made those 8 years worth livin' when your mama left. You were the sweetest girl I ever had the pleasure of knowin'. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you like I shoulda been able to, but I love you. Thank you so much for lettin' me be your daddy." He swallowed and nodded to Ellie, who mimed tossing back her drink. "To Sarah," she said and after a beat, Joel followed. "To Sarah."

Ellie smiled, bouncing up and down slightly on the end of the bed. "That was nice, Joel," she said. "I really like that." He smiled and shook his head. "Nah, kiddo, yours was better." Ellie laughed. "Finally!" she declared. "You admitted I was better at something than you!" Joel laughed, the corners of his eyes crinkling upward slightly. "I never said I was good with words, Ellie," he said.

Ellie grinned triumphantly regardless. "Still," she insisted. She flopped back onto the bed dramatically, facing the ceiling. "I'm better than Joel at something! Fucking finally!" Joel laughed again, reaching over to thread his fingers through her hair. "You're better than me at a lot of things." Ellie leaned into his hand, letting him play with her hair while they lounged on the bed. Jackson had beds. That made it pretty great it her book.

"Okay, so, tell me about the rest of the rest of the holidays," Ellie said. She sat her hands on her stomach, mindlessly twiddling her fingers. "There was Valentine's Day next, I think," he said. "Didn't celebrate that one much each. It was mostly just a way to get stores to sell chocolate and shit. It was all about your boyfriends or girlfriends. Buyin' 'em presents and all that. Like Christmas, but less..." He paused and tilted his head, thinking hard for a few moments. "Ceremony." Ellie hummed in acknowledgement. "Are those the only ones?" she pressed. "That's a pretty lame holiday..."

"Nah, there are more, kiddo," Joel said. "And you'd know if you let me talk!" Ellie stuck her tongue out at him, swatting at his stomach without looking. "Shut up, old man," she said with a laugh, and Joel couldn't help but grin, too.

"There was another in March or something," he said. "Can't remember. Wasn't that important. There was Mothers' Day in... May, I think?" he asked. "You know, I can't remember the day. Been forever since I've needed to know." Ellie frowned. "Mothers' Day?" she asked. "What the hell is that?" He shrugged again. "Just what it sounds like," he said. "Day for moms. You'd make 'em breakfast and give 'em presents to show appreciation. Never really had one," he said with a shrug. "Never had a mom. Just me, Tommy, and the old man when we were kids."

Ellie hummed in acknowledgment, taking a few moments to ponder that. "Was there one for dads, too?" she asked. Joel nodded. "Yeah," he said. "It was in the summer sometime, but I can't remember what day." He paused and smiled fondly at a memory. "Sarah would always wanna do somethin'," he remarked. "Only she was really little so she couldn't do much. She'd call Tommy up and he'd help her with breakfast and then we'd spend all day at the park."

"Didya get presents for Fathers' Day, too?" Ellie asked. "You sure do ask a lotta questions," Joel remarked, and Ellie stuck her tongue out at him. "Answer it," she insisted. "Alright, alright," Joel said with a smile. "Yeah, sometimes you got presents."

"Yes!" With a joyful exclamation, Ellie rolled off the bed and was scrambling towards her backpack where it was hanging by the door. Joel frowned, sitting up straighter. "You forget somethin', kid?" he asked. Ellie shook her head, still sifting through the bag. She always kept it ready to leave at a moment's notice. "Nope!" she said. "I've been lookin' for some time to give you this..."

Joel's frowned deepened slightly as Ellie searched for whatever object she was going to give him. "Ellie," he said slowly, what were you gonna give me?" he asked. She forewent his question, instead exclaiming "Aha!" and spinning back around. In one hand she held a comic book and in the other she held a lighter.

Joel laughed slightly. "Kid?" he asked. "What're you doin'?"

"Let me do this," Ellie insisted. "It's symbolic." She shifted her weight, lifting up the comic. "This is the last one in that series I found at your creepy friend's," she said. "One of the other kids here had it. She gave it to me 'cause she said she was done with it. Apparently it was really popular before everything went to shit." She shifted her weight again and flicked the lighter on. She held the comic up above it until the end caught fire. She extinguished the lighter and dropped it, watching as the fire licked up the old, brittle pages, ashes falling to the floor.

"Ellie, what the hell are you doin'?" Joel asked, throwing his legs over the side of the bed. "Kid, put that out!" Ellie shook her head. "Joel, its okay," she insisted. "This is going somewhere, I promise." Joel sighed but stayed sitting on the edge of the mattress. "Don't hurt yourself," he said with a sigh.

Ellie nodded eagerly. "It's okay," he said. "I know what I'm doing." When the flames got too close to her fingers for comfort, she blew it out, dropping the charred remains. "Happy Fathers' Day, Joel," she said, and Joel arched an eyebrow. "You lost me, kid," he remarked.

Ellie left the pile of ashes on the hardwood floor, hopping over them before jumping back onto the bed. "You said you didn't know when Fathers' Day was," she said. "So I decided it was today and I got you a present." Joel laughed. "Okay, you got me a present," he said with a weak smile. "You burnt one of your comic books. How is that a present?"

Ellie huffed and crossed her arms. "It's symbolic!" she insisted. "It's the last book. The ending. So I burnt it. We've had too many endings, so I'm done with them. It's time we have a beginning."

Joel smiled softly when she finished speaking. He didn't say anything for a few moments but he eventually spoke. "Come here, baby girl," he said, holding his arms out. Ellie didn't hesitate before she scrambled towards him. She threw herself into his arms, his breath leaving him in a whoosh as she squeezed him in a hug. Joel laughed softly, hugging her tightly back. "Thank you," he said softly in her ear before pulling back and kissing her on the forehead. "Thank you, kid," he repeated.

Ellie smiled, pulling him down so he was laying flat on the bed, cuddling up next to him with her head on his chest, comfortable now that she could hear his heart beating. "Any time, old man," she teased gently. "Now, go to bed. I'm not gonna have you die of a cold." Joel laughed softly, turning his head to kiss her again. "I'm not goin' anywhere," he told her honestly, and he fell asleep to the sent of ashes and a beginning.


End file.
